Yes, it's an over-used-to-death-term that makes me a bit nauseous to use, buuuuut... I was truly "awakened" on my 50th Birthday...
And to be even more candid and real here with you than you may care to know what ultimately "woke" me, so I would never doubt my gifts again, was a dire, dark moment where I was totally broken, broke and beat-up, sitting in my car on my 50th birthday asking more questions that anyone should ever have to ask themselves on such a usually happily shared day. Sitting in the dark, eating cold soup out of a can with a plastic fork, high up on a ridge overlooking one of the most meaningful places for me on this planet... Honeoye Lake.
Soul-searching... asking myself a thousand questions... and trying.
Trying so hard... to listen.
Truly, madly... deeply.
I needed to know... WHY?
Because in that awful, dark moment, it felt like my life depended on it and looking back on it now and looking at where I've come since... it did.
But in that moment, it was ALLLLL... why?
How did I get here?
Where is all this going?
What is my purpose?
What's my mission here and WHY, for God's sake would I put myself through all of this?
For what reason?
And in the darkness, in that very moment, it totally hit me.
Clear and simple and pure as a breath.
Like these things always seem to do.
In that moment, with those questions on my heart, I suddenly heard a thousand voices echoing in my heart... from friends, family, co-workers, fans of the show at the time, clients... everyone eventually seems to say something similar to me.
"You see magic, can't you?"
"How do always manage to find the magic?"
"You see the world like it's still magical, like a kid!"
"Things are still magical to you, aren't they?"
Over and over and over again.
By so so many people over the greater course of my personal and professional life.
These voices provided the answer that the Universe telling me all along that I somehow completely overlooked.
Showing me my path.
Showing me my way through.
My grateful gift.
It was all so perfect.
So lucid. ~AA